https://www.zandreestidham.com/blog daily 0.75 2026-04-17 https://www.zandreestidham.com/blog/fat-finger monthly 0.5 2026-04-17 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/b716d10c-1484-485d-b076-5603865223ce/sunriseforever-gesture-6842775.jpg Blog - Fat Finger Except for this. You willingly lift that fat finger to point it and accuse those in the trenches, those doing the emotional labor, those making the real sacrifice, those expending love and heart and sweat and tears for nothing, nothing, nothing in return. You will lift your heavy, fat finger to accuse them of not doing it right. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/fe694a85-9fdc-4b4c-b150-51cc82849658/pexels-alex-dos-santos-305643819-31856107.jpg Blog - Fat Finger And I? I sit with the wounded. I have little to give for I am wounded and messy and bleeding too, but I give it with my whole heart and to my own heart’s detriment. I do it imperfectly; I do it poorly, even, but I do it with everything I have. I show up after the midnight beating, gathering confused and wailing babies to my chest, as mothers bleed from violent encounters. I show up to births of babies unwanted, to the early hours’ escape to safety, risking my own in the process. Wondering what will happen to these innocents next time, seeing the damage already done to little hearts and little minds that didn’t ask for any of this, unable to alleviate even one ounce of their suffering. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/8363232d-dadd-4410-b80d-b06d9bd2626f/Despair.jpg Blog - Fat Finger Because I can’t do it anymore. I can’t wipe away one more tear. I can’t bandage one more cut over one more black eye. I can’t cuddle one more screaming baby in the hopeless knowledge that we’ll just be here again tomorrow. I cannot hold one more broken story. I cannot do this for another breath. Because what if the dissolution of all of it is actually the beginning of better? What if trying to save it has actually been holding the cycle in place and has become the ruin of several lives? But still you swoop in, and I say what I said.. And still…you…swoop…in, put your heavy, polished, dustless boot on the windpipe of my goodness, my compassion, and then scream at me for not breathing. You and your fat finger. https://www.zandreestidham.com/blog/all-my-rage monthly 0.5 2026-04-13 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/c9235db7-6b83-4ad3-ab19-8d4902e82200/keilamariadesigns-ai-generated-8584099_1920.jpg Blog - All My Rage I’m so glad I didn’t know then what was coming, that in the span of four months, I would leave one job and start another, move to a new home in a new city, send another son off to college, lose almost all of my closest friends, lose most of our family support network, lose my stability, lose my routines, lose my faith and my faith community, lose my identity, lose my direction, nearly lose my marriage and heart connection to my kids, and devastatingly, lose the daughter I promised to adopt in the realization that we did not have the physical, mental, or emotional fortitude to care for her in the ways she needed. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/73c61b62-09b1-47f8-b756-8e034ad949d5/popmelon-ai-generated-8891419_1920.jpg Blog - All My Rage I can still see the person that I was then – standing alone at the precipice of all of that burning loss, tears streaming, no way back, and no way out but through, and if I could step through the veil between the two of us for just a moment, if I could tell her anything at all, I’d grab a tight hold of her hand and whisper that for the foreseeable future, just waking up, just getting out of bed, just continuing to breathe, and just surviving each moment would be wholly enough. I would lift her chin, look into her eyes, and to assure her that though she is about to journey into places that are unavoidably, characteristically lonely, she will not be alone because I will never abandon her; that as she learns to get quiet and let the world fall away, even in the suffering, she will find an infinite and enduring home within her. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/893a7707-03d8-45c5-97e4-5f8439030000/camera-man-trail-5726987_1920.jpg Blog - All My Rage A secondary gift of the last four years of my life is that they have served as a trailhead for me to walk toward a deeper understanding of trauma and biology, about energy and human bodies, about physical and emotional pain and our absolutely magical nervous systems. I am thrilled by what I am learning, and to write, for me, is to integrate knowledge and understanding into my being; writing is the act of becoming. I’ve played with blogging on and off over the years, but now for the first time in my life, I’m writing and posting for myself first, so I can continue to process my experiences, to learn from them, and to keep returning to myself, and if you and others come along, then that just adds to the delight and wonder of my life all the more for however long it shall be. https://www.zandreestidham.com/blog/fine monthly 0.5 2024-05-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/99496db0-023d-4499-8e43-7d9fa31ce51b/pill.jpg Blog - Fine - Make it stand out Photo Credit: lil artsy https://www.sarahtrummer.com/ https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/4661273f-0356-4e51-a22d-02dff8976637/section+break3.png Blog - Fine - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/4661273f-0356-4e51-a22d-02dff8976637/section+break3.png Blog - Fine - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/4661273f-0356-4e51-a22d-02dff8976637/section+break3.png Blog - Fine - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/4661273f-0356-4e51-a22d-02dff8976637/section+break3.png Blog - Fine - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.zandreestidham.com/blog/letting-go monthly 0.5 2022-04-04 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/96659d88-0ef5-4e8a-aa14-030722d96b6f/letgo.jpg Blog - Letting Go… - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/1649102845271-RLRK36J5FQ0RC0WIAEIB/unsplash-image-rLm4Wq96h_0.jpg Blog - Letting Go… - I’ve known for a long time that my painful experiences embedded in church life were small spot fires, burning here and there, never really receiving the time or attention they needed in order to be tended to, subdued, and blended back into the soil of my life. Recently, though, relationship-ending conversations over faith and doubt with close, deep, heart-and-soul-connected friends followed by the publicly ugly treatment of some family members of ours in ministry poured a line of gasoline from one small fire to another, and before I realized it, a conflagration raged, threatening to burn down every solid relationship in my life. For the previous 39ish years of my life, in the face of loss, I ran toward the church to find refuge and direction inside the safety and love of community, but today, I can’t; in fact, I am taking slow, deliberate steps in the opposite direction – because I know with every fiber of my being that it’s the church within me that’s on fire. I’ve lived as a pastor’s wife (or, in the Church of Christ tradition, a minister’s wife) for 22 years. Tony and I were both raised in the Church of Christ – a weird little Christian denomination sometimes known in Christian circles today for its historical aversion to both instrumental music and women in leadership. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/4a631088-6c89-4010-954f-05930b477609/disappointed.jpg Blog - Letting Go… - In elementary school, our church leaders fired our preacher for theological differences during Christmas week, and my dad encountered him outside crying on the church steps heavy with worry for how he would provide for his family. I questioned quietly, internally, how anyone could read the words of Christ (even as little as I understood them as a child) and treat another human being with such deep disregard. In middle school, when my sister and her friends brought their friend who was an atheist to a youth event; instead of welcoming her with love because she is a human being and deserves that, one of our youth leaders told her explicitly that wearing shorts to a church event was inappropriate. She never came back. I can still hear the beams cracking. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/ac96a657-f252-497b-b6ee-d9122333e7c6/friends.jpg Blog - Letting Go… - Before, throughout, and beyond that experience, though, we always had our small group – our closest connections, our most intimate support. Because of the strength and longevity of that group of friends and the way that we held and carried each other, I think I doubled down and tightened my grip on that source of support. I hoped and believed it wouldn’t ever change which was far from realistic, but I wanted that closeness and those people to remain the same forever – a life-long refuge from everything else in our lives. For that season, our group was all on the same page, prioritizing love for each other, pursuit of love for our community, and close, deep connection with God. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/c0e6a987-4de7-4925-ac2a-e21ae6ee5677/burned+down.jpg Blog - Letting Go… - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.zandreestidham.com/blog/legacies monthly 0.5 2022-01-19 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/9fcb41f3-9ff0-454c-95bb-030ed0716542/2.13.1944c.jpg Blog - Legacies - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/125ed95f-058d-4540-82f7-1b292d86c674/2020-12-15-21-28-0041%281%29.jpg Blog - Legacies - I did not know my grandfather well when he lived. Though as a kid I shared his space often, we conversed very little that I can remember. Our togetherness was never uncomfortable or awkward; rather, we always held an easy silence between us. I experienced my grandfather as a kind, quiet man who worked hard as an electrician his entire post-military life. He raised three remarkable children. He hated pizza and loved peanut butter, football, fishing, and my grandmother. Though he never spoke the words out loud in my hearing, I sensed that he was proud of his family and the people they became. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/63dda459-70d6-4b38-9284-c05eca89d18a/Legoleague+and+basketball+043.JPG Blog - Legacies - Dessie Dell Reese used her some of her limited time on this planet to make us feel important, and she habitually made us feel welcomed and loved in her home. Throughout my life, I called her often, letting her dependably warm words blanket me when disappointments and struggles threatened to douse my own inner fire. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/5de8efe1-ae94-4027-9849-fc83fcbaa77e/garbage-g9f903e5c4_640.jpg Blog - Legacies - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/2b825705-c54d-4846-8131-8061b56aa740/2020-12-16-18-29-0043%281%29.jpg Blog - Legacies - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.zandreestidham.com/press daily 0.75 2021-12-02 https://www.zandreestidham.com/press/give-hoodies-give-hope monthly 0.5 2021-12-02 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/5a26392f-d62b-440a-8c83-6f7ba03daad5/Brave.PNG Press - Give hoodies, Give hope - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.zandreestidham.com/press/press1-arwee monthly 0.5 2021-12-02 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/8e8b6eb8-0230-43f2-af69-00166abc8b57/Cuyahoga.jpeg Press - National Parks, 2021: How to Prepare for, Get in, and Stay in Our National Parks This Summer https://www.zandreestidham.com/press/success1-33pzg monthly 0.5 2021-12-02 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/64ab240d-f827-492c-9754-ff08113a1834/plane-gb90574333_1920.jpg Press - From Steep to Cheap:Travel for Less in 2019 https://www.zandreestidham.com/press/success2-7j46w monthly 0.5 2021-12-02 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e4c424adc39513f8a9c866b/1582148842932-1GT68ITZFGPGVH9LQPED/Stocksy_comp_2452549.jpg Press - Extraordinary Women, Extraordinary Work https://www.zandreestidham.com/press/mother-dwphk monthly 0.5 2021-12-02 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/2f66812f-86bc-4ace-9286-cf3e8c5f877e/sandstone.jpg Press - Sandstone Ranch House – a new place to gather https://www.zandreestidham.com/press/category/success+story monthly 0.5 https://www.zandreestidham.com/press/category/press monthly 0.5 https://www.zandreestidham.com/press/category/tips monthly 0.5 https://www.zandreestidham.com/about daily 0.75 2021-12-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/1630716122023-ICXFJ2YAOKIZ0DI19MPK/Hikingzee2.jpg About - Meet Zee Hi! I’m Zee. I have many names at this moment in my time on this planet - mom, foster mom, dog mom, nana, auntie, wife, daughter, niece, colleague, friend, hiking buddy, educator, survivor, patient. Here, I’m a teller of stories, I am a woman in all these roles trying to find the divine in the daily, the trying to create a little community, and a soft place to land for others trying to do the same. I love to teach, speak, read, and have great conversation. Let’s talk! https://www.zandreestidham.com/contact daily 0.75 2022-01-19 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/35c0008f-fa15-4192-9801-1d103cb4b1ab/Zee.jpg Contact https://www.zandreestidham.com/home-1 daily 1.0 2022-01-19 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/1635823715411-WKXKSY0OE9EN4OPW91JX/drybones.jpg Home https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/1637532084974-V7LPH8QSJPN60KVX3V5X/lylanme.jpg Home https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6128564ce41e3755978341b6/1637533414472-2XEFVHJT8NRR65YLLCKC/puzzle.jpg Home https://www.zandreestidham.com/joe-the-marmot-sample-chapter daily 0.75 2022-01-19 https://www.zandreestidham.com/new-page daily 0.75 2022-01-19